Byline: Ron Judd; Seattle Times staff columnist
Mr. Wrap is a little miffed.
Stood there at Sea-Tac for several hours Tuesday, wearing a little black chauffeur's cap and holding up a hand-lettered sign reading, 'AMANDA KNOX.'
Thought she might at least come over and say 'Hi.' But nooo.
In spite of that clear snub, we're glad Amanda is back home safe. And to help ease the transition, we're sending her a detailed chronology of major news events she's missed since leaving her hometown in 2007. Major highlights:
* In 2009, the city threw its former mayor, Greg Nickels, out of office after he decided to battle an epic snowstorm by deploying a fleet of plows equipped with blades tipped by cotton swabs. Since then, the office of mayor has, by all indications, been left vacant.
* The Mariners lost another several hundred games.
* Some rich people with a thing for melted 7UP bottles rammed through the City Council a plan for a Dale Chihuly Outlet Mall / Museum of Self-Aggrandizement. It'll be built in the Seattle Center's Eyesore District, not far from Paul Allen's Experience Music Project, popularly known as The Wreck of the Partridge Family Bus.
* Ground was broken for a new Dick's Drive-In up in Lynnwood.
That's pretty much it.
More historical trending:
Easy Mistake: Raise your hand if you saw the headlines about that 'rat-infested, squid-filled pirate ship' and thought it was a story about an Issaquah-class ferry on the Bremerton run.
Urge To Merge: Swedish Health Services and Providence Health & Services are combining forces. We're now one step away from a single colossus, Group Providish.
The Nation's Grammar Instructors Clearly Not Among Them: 'I apologize to those whom are disappointed in this decision.' -- Partial-Term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, R-Sylvan Learning Centers, announcing she won't run for president in 2012.
This Just In: The Boeing 787 reportedly is 11 tons overweight. It's already being asked by major airlines to purchase a second seat in its own coach section.
Duct And Cover: State transportation officials are asking residents what they would do if given 30 minutes to themselves on the Alaskan Way Viaduct. Seems obvious: 1) Place explosive charges. 2) Light fuse. 3) Run like hell.
Are You Ready For Some Stupid? Lost in the hubbub over singer Hank Williams Jr.'s comparison of President Obama to Hitler was this question: Why was Fox News soliciting pearls of political wisdom from Williams in the first place? Apparently regular senior political analyst Charlie Daniels was on vacation.
Let's Be Honest: Anything that gets that idiotic song off the air is a public service.
Bulking Up: Shoppers at Costco reportedly were 'unfazed' by reports of rising store membership fees. Sigh. Rookie mistake, people: If you don't want to be nickel and dimed to death, you should at least act fazed in the presence of news people.
And Finally: A pat on the back to managers at the Port of Seattle, which, when the media circus came to town Tuesday, nimbly shepherded the elephants through the Sea-Tac gates. Now if they could just make arrivals somewhere close to that painless for the rest of us. Ron Judd's column appears each Sunday. He also writes Restless Native columns. Reach him at rjudd@seattletimes.com or 206-464-8280.
Copyright (c) 2011 Seattle Times Company, All Rights Reserved.
